The effects of severe online stalking to a disabled person

Image: bewytchme.com

Image: bewytchme.com

The effects of severe online stalking to a disabled person

What happens when you are physically disabled and people make threats online? Well being disabled is one of the protected groups from hate speech. If you constantly target someone because you know they have either mental and or physical disabilities you are violating the hate speech laws. These laws protect race, gender, sexuality, disability and more. If you knowingly target a person because you know they are unable to fight back and or that fighting back may cause them to have more serious heath issues, then you are violating my Charter of Rights as guaranteed by the government of Canada.

In my case I have a potentially terminal disease which has caused me to start having heart attacks when in 1997, several strokes and just died at home out of the blue after my arteries went into spasm which is what this disease does. I was given a 30% chance to see this birthday in fact. Stress aggravates my illness and my brain since my strokes.

Having strokes has caused me to have many deficits including a weakness on my left side and becoming anxious when I get stressed. My arteries all go into spasm throughout my body and I have missing pulses, including the one in my wrist on the left side. I’ve been followed, poked, prodded,tested and studied by students who have not or probably will never again see this illness. It’s an odd thing to have a room full of people taking turns trying to find pulses throughout your body.  I’m thankful for the awesome doctor at St. Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver, BC for finding this rare illness and helping me to deal with it.

I started having severe chest pain when I was in my 20’s and because I was a woman and young, they said it was just a “woman” thing. They said the same thing when I had my first stroke at Surrey Memorial Hospital. I wasn’t given any tests and was told to take some Ativan to relax. I had a second stroke the next day. The day after, I went to my doctor who looked at me and instantly saw there was a problem. I went to a neurologist who sent me to Royal Columbian Hospital in New Westminster, BC and had an emergency MRI (Magnetic Resonance Image). A day later he called and told me the bad news, that I had had two strokes. So that leaves me with a deficit on my left side and since I broke my leg and ankle on the left side 13 years ago, I rely on a mobility device to get around now.

Now the stalkers are well aware that I may not live very long and use that too. Can you say heartless? They are aware I have a family, grandchildren and friends who would miss me if the stress brings it out of remission again or causes me to have yet another stroke or heart attack.  They don’t care. They use my disability and inability to fight back and are the worst cowards. How someone can use a disability to target a person is something I can’t understand.

So this is where I stand now. I’ve been in bed mentally exhausted from having to deal with the constant hate, threats and lies being spread by a woman I don’t know for three days. Some may say “Just get over it” or “Stop listening” but the truth is that I already do that and the more I ignore things the worse the allegations are getting. Being called a bully who led Amanda Todd to her death is alarming. The fact that this was told to Amanda’s mother is devastating. Who uses a deceased child to throw in someone’s face & say they are a murderer?

Honestly my life is far more valuable than the happiness these people will get upon hearing of my death. Is that dramatic? No. Did I mention I have a 30% chance to see this next birthday? Only myself, my family and my doctors know how severe this is. So right now I took some down time in my bed where I’m safe.

It’s hard to describe what is happening to me emotionally now too. The strokes affected my emotional part of my brain which means I am a little more emotional than some people but anxiety and stress make it worse. I literally feel my chest tightening and my throat tightening. I can feel the left side of my face and going numb. If she doesn’t stop she will kill me. I cant get the help from the police and because of that I am a prisoner in my own home now and for what? A public comment on a public post on a Facebook page 2 years ago. Or as a great blogger says “Because native”. I’ll add “Because disabled” to that.

I am now at the point where I don’t leave my home alone. While in bed I was thinking about the last time I left my home alone and that once in November 2014. Before that, who knows. I’m starting to wonder if I am a little agoraphobic because of the constant threats online of people coming to my home to harm me by posting what they think is my home address. I’ve had to disconnect my home phone because of the severe stalking I have had.

I realize that I don’t leave my home unaccompanied these days because I simply do not feel safe. Some people will say, “Isn’t that a little extreme?” and I say no, you don’t know what she’s done with her 2 stooges.   I named them the 3 stooges to try and add some humor to it and not worry so much but even the name doesn’t make me smile these days. Not much does these days. That’s what happens when you worry about strangers threatening your well being all the time.

I was beaten to within an inch of my life as a child but what I’m going through right now and for the last two years is far worse. When my father hated me, he hurt me physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. I knew who did it because I saw his face and could feel his breath on my skin. Stalkers do not give you the same option. Stalkers do what they do because they are obsessed with you. There doesn’t have to be a reason they begin to stalk you, they just do. Not every stalker mentally ill either as I’ve learned. Some stalkers are just narcissists who are obsessed. Nothing I will ever do or say will deter the stalker or stalkers from following me.

I used to think that stalkers were the problem of celebrities or people who had been in past bad relationships. I’ve learned that, while they can be stalked, the stalker these days stalks anyone whether they are a celebrity, were in a past bad relationship or just a regular person like me who speaks about what is on their mind. I realize now that, although I am just a regular person, these sick people latch on and don’t let go. There is no tried and true way to get rid of a stalker. The only time a stalker will stop is:

A. When they get bored & find a new obsession

B. When they die

C. When you die

I have been dealing with being stalked for over two years now online and it’s time I start speaking about it and sharing what this is really doing to me. I smile for everyone but I cry for me. No one see’s me behind closed doors.

Some people thrive off of drama and hurting others but I don’t. I thrive off of making people happy and listening to what people have to say without offering an opinion. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen without saying a word. I don’t want to have problems with this woman and her two friends but unfortunately the only real solution I think they will accept is hearing about my death. I am writing my will now and in it I am including the three people who are causing me stress now in case the stress leads to my sudden death.

Hating someone for something they cannot control is inhumane. I’m disabled and I’ve had enough of the hate. #StopOnlineHate #StopStalkers #Stalker #Abuse #Violence #Disabled #HateSpeech

No person should be hated because of who they are and no human would choose to harm another and possibly end their life. No one.

If you are disabled and feel that you may be abused or in an abusive situation online or off, please speak up. If you can’t speak up somewhere else, speak up here. You are not alone. #HateSpeech #Canada

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