Whipping children teaches them to use anger
Whipping children is not the same as giving them a pop on the bottom to curb some dangerous behavior. While giving your child a pop on the butt for running away into traffic or in a busy place, you are not doing it hard enough to leave a mark and are in full control. Whipping a child is when you are not in control.
Whipping children is an old fashioned beating by an angry, out of control parent. It’s strange how some people think it’s okay to beat a child, yet would never beat an adult for fear of facing jail time. Apparently whipping, according to parent’s and caregiver’s who do it, teaches a child to never repeat the same mistake. The problem is that the whippings don’t work and children may repeat the same mistakes over and over. How a parent handles it, after the first failed whipping, is a choice to change to continue with failed punishment.
Whipping a child teaches a child to fear their abuser
Some people feel that they should quote the bible “spare the rod, spoil the child” and use that excuse as why they harm their children. The whippings do nothing to teach anything, they just serve to teach a child how to be angry and that anger is the solution to their frustrations outside of the house, like at school.
No child, ever, said “Yes please _____ I am in fact learning a life lesson while you are angry, shouting and whipping me with a (belt) (branch from a tree) (wooden/metal spoon) (wooden ruler or yardstick). Thank you ____ for harming me in this way and teaching me to fear you while teaching me nothing about the mistake I made for you to get angry and beat me.”
If people are going to hide behind a religion, at their convenience, to defend their anger towards children and for harming them, then they really can’t be that good of a follower right? Christians quote the bible about it being okay to beat your children but they also said in the Old Testament that incest was right and that if someone spoke to you, who was invisible, and told you to kill your child was okay. Today we would call that a mental illness and remove children for their own safety. If you are only going to quote certain parts of a book in order to make your case sound better, than quote all the parts and embrace all of them too, not just some.
Children didn’t ask to have the caregivers in their life
No child was given a choice of parents in their life. If you ask an abused child if they learned anything valuable from their abusers, they would say, they learned how to be fearful of people and not trust people, including those who may love them in a healthy way (spouses, children, family and friends). Abused children learn to suffer in silence with many victims never talking about their own abuse, due to feeling that somehow they deserved what they got and that it helped turn them into a “better” person.
It’s not a cultural thing…it’s child abuse
Some people try to say it’s a cultural thing to hand out whippings to their children, in an effort to thwart off possible bad behavior. In my opinion, that’s a total cop out. It doesn’t matter what your culture is, abuse is abuse no matter how badly you want to say it’s not. Those who are abused because their own parent’s claimed it was “cultural” and “how things are done in our culture” will continue to abuse their own children and those in their care and custody.
How many of the kids in the cultures where their parent’s say it’s a cultural thing to hit with objects, turned out okay?
Well according to statistics in cultures who hand out whippings to their kids
- the kids in the community have low socioeconomic backgrounds,
- parent’s seem to be single parent’s and in particular, single mothers, who have custody more often than fathers,
- kids may be good inside the house but might be in gangs or in activities which their caregiver would find dangerous,
- kids may end up in more violent situations outside the home, including bullying others
- kids tend to end up involved in more crime and many end up in jail early on
- kids may grow up and repeat the same abuse they incurred because it happened to them instead of changing the behavior.
Using your culture/religion as the reason it’s “okay” to give a child a whipping, is cowardly. It’s a simple choice. You can choose to repeat what you knew and have possibly worse outcomes, or you can choose to find another way to get your anger out, without harming your child for life.
It’s not my child but I’m their caregiver
You can get into more trouble than a parent does, if you give a child in your care whippings. You can face battery charges in the United States if you harm a child, and aren’t their parent. Parent’s have more rights when it comes to their children and how they choose to discipline them.
Okay but what is discipline and what is abuse?
Simple. Discipline is when you use the negative behavior to teach that it was wrong and work with the child to change the behavior. If your child let’s go of your hand and runs away towards traffic, it may be okay to give a couple of pops on the butt, as long as you don’t leave marks and the punishment fits the crime.
- he discipline causes injury, not just discomfort
- the amount of force used is unreasonable, or
- it’s purpose is something other than correcting inappropriate or dangerous behavior.
The bottom line is this. You wouldn’t hit an adult because they spilled the milk or didn’t get their entire job done for the day, so why hit a child? Children should never grow up thinking that being hit by someone is the right thing to do and that anger solves every problem. Little girls who are abused may grow up to be an abuser, a victim or may be okay if they seek help for their own abuse. Little boys who are abused may grow up to be an abuser, a victim or may be okay if they seek help for their own abuse. Child abuse is wrong. If you have to use an object to whip a child, you are teaching them that violence is okay. I suggest to those caregivers who don’t think what they do is wrong by beating their child, that they sit down in a chair and have another adult stand over them and cuss them out like they do their child. I guarantee you that you won’t like it. You will be angry. Your child feels the same, so what lesson do you teach by whipping a child? None. If an adult was doing that to you in your home, it’s domestic violence and you can get help but where can your children go if the adults are hitting them in the same way? Not many places. They won’t trust people and may not know where to go to get help.
Never use an item to hit a child. Deal with your anger and ask yourself why you treat child differently than an adult. They have the same rights and deserve love, not a whipping. Find other ways to deal with your anger and bring up kids who know that violence is wrong and will repeat what they learned.
Only abusers can choose to stop abusing and end the circle of abuse. That takes bravery, whipping a child doesn’t.
Here are some links to other important blogs I’ve written on child abuse around the globe. Thanks for reading and have a super day.
Top 5 countries – child sexual abuse http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/child-sexual-abuse-top-5-countries-highest-rates-1436162
Child Sexual Abuse http://regender.org/GenderStat/ChildSexualAbuse
Charges that can be brought against you for spanking your or another person’s child http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/criminal-offense/charges-that-can-be-brought-up-for-spanking-you
Is it ever okay to whip your child? https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/reading-between-the-headlines/201409/is-it-ever-ok-give-your-child-whipping
Mother caught beating her 3-year-old daughter http://bewytchme.com/mother-beating-3-yo-daughter-caught-on-camera-video/
Caught: Malaysian mom beats her baby on cam http://bewytchme.com/arrested-malaysian-mom-beating-baby-facebook-video/
Stop Child Trafficking http://bewytchme.com/stop-child-trafficking/
Elder abuse by caregiver http://bewytchme.com/maria-e-alvarez-salvatierra-charged-with-elder-abuse/
Domestic Violence, Child Abuse and Addiction http://bewytchme.com/domestic-violence-child-abuse-addiction/
Horrific child abuse, Mesa http://bewytchme.com/horrific-child-abuse-in-mesa-arizona/
Abused babies don’t deserve to be abused http://bewytchme.com/babies-dont-deserve-to-be-abused/
Why women condone past child abuse http://bewytchme.com/why-do-women-support-past-child-abuse/
Abuse survivors: Never stop talking http://bewytchme.com/abuse-survivors-never-stop-talking/
Dartmouth police rescue 5 children from abuse http://bewytchme.com/dartmouth-police-rescue-5-children-from-abuse/
Demecio Powell, 11, beaten with a belt on cam http://bewytchme.com/demecio-powell-11-abused-video-uploads-facebook-help/
Domestic Violence: When men are victims http://bewytchme.com/domestic-abuse-men-victims/
Domestic abuse signs and how to leave safely http://bewytchme.com/domestic-abuse-signs-leave-safely/
Abused children? Abused partners? Why? http://bewytchme.com/abused-children-abused-partners-why/
How does it feel to be abused? http://bewytchme.com/how-does-it-feel-to-be-abused-3/
Demand Facebook have a report child abuse button http://bewytchme.com/demand-facebook-add-a-report-child-abuse-button-opscarecrow/